It’s early-to-mid fall and school has been solidly in session for a month or two, giving your child plenty of time to acclimate to their environment and their guide time to really see them in action. Your budding student of life has begun to bring home all sorts of work, might be talking about friends they see daily, and suddenly you’re aware of just how much they’ve seemed to grow in such a short while. This can only mean one thing…school conferences are coming.
Parent-Guide (or teacher, if you’re new to Montessori) conferences tend to stir up a litany of responses. Some parents await the chance to talk about all that their student is doing as if it were a holiday, some approach with anxious nerves, and still yet some wonder “how much is there to really say about my toddler?”
There’s a lot, actually, because development during the early childhood and Elementary years is so rapid that the only constant with your child is change. And no matter which camp you fall in, it’s important to note that all information is merely a tool, regardless of what it tells you.
Of course, understanding the emphasis on the parent-guide-student ‘triangle’ relationship within Montessori can better prepare you for what you can expect.
Image description: A black and white triangle with text at each corner. At the top is the word ‘Child’, in the lower right is the word ‘Parent’, and in the lower left is the word ‘Guide’.
First and foremost, the triangle depends largely on equal engagement from each leg. Suffice to say, if two or one leg is giving more effort than the other, you will soon go from having an equilateral triangle to an isosceles triangle. It’s a good math problem, but a difficult basis for educational success.
But how the heck do parents remain engaged when the school day is 4-8 hours spent at work, home, or just generally outside the school building itself? Not everyone can spend hours volunteering every week and detailed daily communication not only can get exhausting for all parties involved, but really isn’t necessary in most situations.
Parents, you are an absolutely critical piece of daily school life, even without stepping foot in the building. You are a cornerstone that provides important home lessons and reaffirms the ones taught in school socially, emotionally, and academically. You set the tone for how students approach school and their own roles within it, especially in the beginning years when there is so much development happening.
Every day, you get your child up and to school on time. You make sure they’re fed so they can function in a healthy way, you pack lunches, you check backpacks and folders, and you engage in any necessary communication and discuss it with your child. Your home is a part of the school community whether you realize it or not, and consistency within the framework of the Montessori method guarantees your student has all the tools they need to feel ready and to engage themselves in the day-to-day of the casa. Your commitment to these things is a message to your child that what they do every day is important and should be taken seriously. This instills confidence in the classroom, in the child’s guide, and most importantly in themselves.
Your communication with guides on things big and small, from concerns to just giving a heads up that sleep was minimal the night before, is vital in creating a team that surrounds the child with proper supports. And, quite truthfully, positive communication from you that you’re seeing the fruits of the efforts of your child’s guides efforts can make a huge difference in filling their cups. Coffee is important, oh yes, but a kind word or acknowledgement is basically coffee for their soul.
Likewise, the guide plays an important role not just in giving lessons, but in truly acting as a partner to the child and their caregivers. Consistent communication helps parents to feel at ease sending their growing child out into the world with confidence they are loved, respected, and safe. The guide prepares the classroom (read this awesome article on the importance of the prepared environment, a pillar of Montessori) with care and expertise that allows the child to explore with independence, instilling a love of learning that is so often discouraged in settings where children are taught instead of teaching themselves. Guides carefully observe each child, taking note of where they are and meeting them at their level to meet those sensitive periods of development, building the foundation that takes them surely to the next.
And, of course, the child is the vital person when it comes to their education. They receive messages both verbal and non-verbal about their environment from the other two parts of the triangle, at which point they must choose to transmute these messages into action. Their engagement with the world around them must be nurtured and supported in order for them to uphold their place in the triangle as an active, curious, and passionate learner. At the center of the Montessori Method, beyond beautiful environments and some specific terminology, is one concept;
“It is necessary that the child teach himself, and then the success is great.” —Maria Montessori, The Theosophist
When all three aspects of the triangle work together, the exchange is harmonious and seamless. But, each depends greatly on the other two, which can be a learning experience itself when so much of Montessori depends on individualism.
This is all to say, your part in Parent-Guide conferences is not to just get the chance to hear about all the amazing things your child is learning, but to really become an active partner in that education. It does matter and it does make a difference, even at 18 months old. Take this chance to figure out what that will look like for you and what messages you want to send to your child and their guide and to understand the reasoning behind what they’re doing after they are dropped off. Often, prying information out of a child once they get home is painful for all involved parties. The child needs this time to decompress from even the most peaceful of environments and to let that information become concrete in their minds. Parent-Guide conferences are when you get to really get an idea of all the details you really want.
Remember, adults (usually) communicate most effectively with words. Children communicate with action, through work and play. Great things come from relationships that acknowledge and respect these differences in ‘language’.
hange is harmonious and seamless. But, each depends greatly on the other two, which can be a learning experience itself when so much of Montessori depends on individualism.
This is all to say, your part in Parent-Guide conferences is not to just get the chance to hear about all the amazing things your child is learning, but to really become an active partner in that education. It does matter and it does make a difference, even at 18 months old. Take this chance to figure out what that will look like for you and what messages you want to send to your child and their guide and to understand the reasonings behind what they’re doing after they are dropped off. Often, prying information out of a child once they get home is painful for all involved parties. The child needs this time to decompress from even the most peaceful of environments and to let that information become concrete in their minds. Parent-Guide conferences are when you get to really get an idea of all the details you really want.
Remember, adults (usually) communicate most effectively with words. Children communicate with action, through work and play. Great things come from relationships that acknowledge and respect these differences in ‘language’.
